Crazy. Mama. Bear.

We all know about Mama Bears. They are crazy. Insane. Insanely protective. 

I have never been a mama bear.  I mean, I'm obviously crazy. And protective. But  not. . .growling, screaming, resorting to violence or throwing fish-type crazy.

I teach my children to stand up for themselves if necessary, to ignore people who are problematic if at all possible, to be proud and happy with the differences among us.

"Kiddo X at school is awesome at tennis and you aren't sure how to hold the racket? That's ok. . .people are different, you know how to do long division in your head."  

"Child Y in your class is bothering you and calling you names? Make sure your teacher knows if he keeps doing it and just try to ignore him. No. . .don't try to help him with his math, that probably won't work."

However, as of late, the mama bear has come out and has come out with a vengeance. Like. . .I might just get awarded a "Mature Parent of the Year. . .FAIL!" award very very soon.

Let me preface this by saying: it has been a very hard year for my Drama Queen.  She is the ONLY girl in her class at school. We have recently left our church of 10 years and therefore she is missing her friends there. She found herself trying to socialize with girls much older than her at school because that is THE ONLY OPTION SHE HAD.  And I ache for her.  Those concerns will probably be the topic of another blog, but for now. . .back to the mama bear-ness I have become of late.

Over the last two weeks I have:

1. Advised my Drama Queen to punch another child in the face.

 WHAT?!? He totally would have deserved it.

I then also marched myself to the Principal's desk to tell him that I had given her said advice.

2. Escorted my Drama Queen out of a basketball game where she was crying b/c someone many years older was picking on her because she didn't have a routine down.  And then told them in no-uncertain terms that we weren't coming back.

This is in direct opposition to my "you sign up for it, you finish it" philosophy.

3.  Recommended she call an older girl STUPID. To her face. And then walk away.

TRUST ME. This one was also deserved.

4.  And obviously (see earlier post), assisted in the miscommunication that would have resulted in her telling kids to take a dump in the lake.

ALL  of this. . .is at a small, adorably loving, private Christian school.  And as you can probably tell, I don't feel the least bit bad about it really. 

The weirdest thing:  I also don't feel like a bad parent. . .I feel. . .kinda. . . 

awesome.

And like I might kind of like this mama bear thing.

Things my kids say. Part 6 of a zillion

Drama Queen is told that if some kids at school pick on her again to tell them to "jump in a lake" and then ignore them.

She repeats back to me in the car what she plans to say. . .

"Mom, I'm just going to tell them to go take a dump in the lake!"

Please my dear child. . .I want you to stand up for yourself, but if you start telling people to take a dump in the lake, we are probably going to get a phone call from the principal.

Things my kids say. Part 5 of a zillion

Mischief: "I learned about Zacchaeus in school today."
B (a friend of the family): "Really? What did you learn about him?"
Mischief: "He was a wee little man and he climbed up a marshmallow tree."

tick. . .tock. . .tick. . .tock. . .

Sycamore = S'more = Marshmallow.

Makes perfect sense to me!