My beautiful
girl.
Welcome to
middle school - to a season of life that is hard, and full of wonder. Full of new knowledge, new friends, and new
challenges. And before you get too far
into the middle of all this newness and wonder and hardness – there are so many
things I want to make sure you know. And
not just “yeah mom I know” know. .
.but I want you to KNOW them deep in the corners of your soul, so that you can
hold fast to them when life gets harder than you expected, when people are
meaner than you thought possible, when you feel lost and alone, or when you are
blinded by the brightness of the world’s possibilities and overwhelmed with
love for your life and fellow man.
You have been
(and always will be) my little girl, my silly face, my pumpkin, mischief maker,
a different drummer, a free spirit, and a magic bringer. But you are Becoming. Becoming so much more. And Becoming is hard work, it isn’t always
fun or sparkly or pretty. It’s often
painful and lonely and long.
But – and this
is the first thing I want you to know – Becoming
may feel lonely, but you are never alone.
Never. Your father and I will be
with you, supporting you, listening to you, and loving you. Always. Even if we disagree, even if we don’t
understand, even if you feel like we know absolutely nothing – you can rest in
the knowledge that we love you, no matter what, and will continue doing so
until our last breath. And Jesus, look
to Him when you feel lost and alone, and be confident that His love for you is
unfathomable in its depth.
Ephesians 3: 17 Then
Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will
grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all
God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.
As you do the
work that is required to Become, you will find – unfortunately – that the world
is full of lies. These lies will hit you
from all sides my sweet daughter, bombarding you with doubts of your self-worth,
your inner beauty, and your abilities.
If I could shield you from them and the damage they do, I would do so. .
.. but I cannot. I can however, work to
build you up in such a way that you can recognize the lies and stand up against
them yourself. And standing up to the
lies, knowing the truth about your worth and wonder, will make those lies weak,
and unable to harm you. So here is the
truth – memorize it, commit it to your heart, and share it with those around
you.
·
You are enough.
Just as you are. With your charms
and quirks and faults and ups and downs and abilities and weaknesses. YOU ARE ENOUGH. I say this as someone who has marveled at
your loving and joyful heart for many years, and sees you struggle with
comparisons to others, and expectations of perfection. You are enough. You do not have to be perfect, you do not
have to perform a certain way, you do not have to be what anyone else wants you
to be. You get to Become You, and then you get to be you. I love you, just as you are. I am proud of you. And God loves and accepts
you, just as you are (Titus
3:4-7).
·
Being female, in no way, diminishes
your worth, your ability, or your chance of success.
You are female. And along with
the beautiful way this means your physical body works, there are times when
people may treat you as inferior. This
is a fault of theirs – not yours. You
are smart, strong, capable, and amazing.
Your thoughts and opinions are worthwhile and meaningful. You are valued as a person independently of
your physical body. You have so much to
offer this world – as an equal to everyone else. As you grow and change and experience all
that is coming your way, as you Become, please do not allow anyone to treat you
differently simply because you are female. Stand up and make your voice
heard. Yell if you have to, but know
that your voice is important and should be heard. Look to the way your father treats me – with respect,
with love, and as an equal – as an example for how you should expect to be
treated by everyone. And then, look to
Jesus for a perfect example. Jesus loved
women. He listened to them, he included
them, he calls them beloved. And He
listens to you and calls you beloved as well (All the Gospels).
·
Your dad and I will listen and talk to
you about anything. It might be awkward, or weird, or even
feel like a disagreement. But we will
always talk. And we will always
listen. We may not know the answers, we
may have to come back to you and admit we messed up, we may just flat out be
wrong sometimes. But you can talk to
us. Whenever, wherever, and always.
·
A person who loves you, will treat you
with love. This one is hard. So hard. People in your life will tell you
that they love you. You will hear it
from so many, but it can be hard to differentiate the people who say it, from
the people who mean it. So know this,
someone who truly loves you will never:
o
Physically hurt you. Ever.
o
Emotionally or mentally abuse you or
manipulate you. Your emotions and thoughts are valid,
and someone who attempts to manipulate your behavior by invalidating your
feelings does not actually care FOR you.
They might care about what you can do FOR them, but not about you
personally.
o
Tell you that you are not worthy.
This is a lie (see above). You are
worthy of love, admiration, time, respect, and prioritization. And there are people in this world who will
treat you accordingly. Look for
them. Do not settle for anyone who won’t.
(1 Corinthians 13:1-7)
·
Life is hard. I
wish this wasn’t true. But I’m sorry –
it is. There is a lot of hard work in
Becoming, and Being. Long hours of
figuring out who you are, and what you want, and how to get there. Sadness and confusion and heartbreak. Sometimes I wish I could prevent all of that
being true for you. But life is also
beautiful, and amazing, and full of magical people like yourself. Often that beauty is made more magnificent by
the hard work you had to do, by the heartbreak you endured to find the goodness
in someone, the setbacks before the success.
Know that God has a plan for you, and it is worth following (Jeremiah 29:11).
·
Kindness is always the best path.
People can be harsh and rude and discouraging. And its easy (and feels good) to be rude back
to them. But give people the benefit of
the doubt, they are battling with the lies they are hearing, and the kindness
you show may be all that they have ever seen.
Never do or say anything that might make someone doubt their own worth,
or that might make them believe the lies around them. Your heart is full of
love and generosity – I’ve seen it. Don’t
lose it by falling into the pattern of harshness yourself. Love and kindness
will always win.
·
You can change the world.
Really. Your brain, your heart,
your soul – are all uniquely yours. And
the world needs you and your amazing everything. Your decision to be kind, or to fight through
a hard time, or to know your own value and not settle. . .could be the catalyst
to a change within your own life, within the life of others in the community,
or on an even larger scale. Do not be
discouraged by the world that you see around you, but find hope in the
possibilities. I believe in you and that
the beautiful joy of your heart can change the world. It certainly changed my world.
There
are a million more things I need to tell you.
Take time for yourself. Make good
choices. Eat your vegetables. But mostly, mostly I need you to know
this. I love you and I am so proud of
you and all that you are Becoming. The
road is long and hard, but I am here for you – to hold you up, to hug you
tight, and to love you. Always.
