It didn't happen instantly, but at some point rational and logical thought took over and the part of her that believed in fairies, magic and perfection was disbanded. The haze with which children view the world, the haze that prevents them from seeing the ugliness of life and instead causes them to view every day as amazing began to dissolve and she began peeking at the real world through a tiny hole in that veil.
The first clue was Christmas. In the car, on the way home from a Christmas party she piped up to ask F. . "Daddy, Santa isn't real is he?" It was a gut twisting moment that we had known would be coming soon - but this felt just a bit too soon. She explained that it just didn't make sense, that one man could visit every child in the span of a single night. We discussed that as her parents - we would never tell her what to believe - but that she should decide what she believed based on what felt right to her. We watched as she thought, with her brow furrowed and then looked at us and said "No. He doesn't exist. But it was fun to believe in him when I was little - so I'll help make sure Mischief still believes."
Christmas 09 was bittersweet for sure.
Valentines Day rolled around and brought with it another dose of reality. Valentines parties at school and big red construction paper hearts have always been fun, exciting, silly. This year the party at school turned into a true glimpse of the unfortunate harshness of the world.
A boy asked Drama Queen out on a date.
Never mind that the boy was also 8 and I have no idea how this plan was going to work in his brain (was he going to pick her up on his bike?) and never mind that she said "no". The disaster was wrapped up in the fact that the whole class heard about it. And tormented my little Drama Queen relentlessly. She held it together throughout the day and then exploded into tears as she got in the car. Everyone was just so mean. Cruel. Heartless. And these friends that she had played with all year found it more fun to pick on her than to stand up for her.
Just a few short days later these friends would also chose to vote for another student for class president based off his promises to "help their hair grow faster" as opposed to her promises "to work with school staff to encourage additional lunch options". She was utterly devastated at their ability to believe such nonsense and the ease with which they were swayed. The reality of human nature was a hard lesson to learn, and a hard lesson to watch her learn.
Then finally, there was Toby. Toby the rescued kitten, who brought with him gray-green eyes and crazy fur that sticks up no matter how much you brush it, and a realization for Drama Queen that mommy and daddy might have been tip-toeing around the truth when it comes to how babies are made. Because Toby is a boy cat. And when we made the appointment with the vet to have him "fixed" she looked at me with eyes that questioned my sanity. "Mom. He is a boy. He cannot have babies." She clearly thought I had dropped my brain somewhere.
And so - we had THE talk. And at 8 years old she listened as we had an anatomy lesson, a human sexuality lesson and a biology lesson all wrapped up in one. And she took it in stride. She thought it was cool the way God made us different so that both mom and dad could have a part in making a child that was part of each of them.
And so, it is not so much that she is growing up - although of course that is happening too. It's that she is growing wise. And rubbing elbows with reality in a way that I didn't expect to happen for a while. It is just all happening a little faster than I had hoped. And while it is painful and sad to watch, it is also, just a little bit, magic.
1 comment:
I think you all are doing GREAT as parents. Don't mind if I borrow a few ideas from this post as our kids get older. I am sure it was sad to see that innocence go, but also good to see that it was replaced with wisdom and discernment.
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