I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell - Part 1

So I decided it was about time to give you all (all 2 of you) the skinny on my weirdo medical stuff. Every once in while in the past I've blogged about my eternal fatigue, my struggles with depression, my absolute inability to lose weight . . . and every once in a while a doctor would order a new test, or a new medication in an effort to handle these things and then. . .nothing would work. I believe the last time I posted anything medical it was that the latest doctor had recommended coming off of my anti-depressant in a belief that my "magic pills" were causing the fatigue.

So I came off of them. And God bless F for staying with me during that roller coaster ride. Coming off anti-depressants (especially after long term use) is probably the most insane thing you could ever ask a depressed person to do. It is right up there with cutting off your own foot without pain medications while balancing on your head and discussing the proper conjugation of Latin verbs. It makes no sense. It is painful - literally painful. And it will drive you crazy (um, crazier). Your body and mind actually go into withdrawal similar to that of other drug users. You deal with nausea. Headaches. Shakiness. Dizziness. And your emotions go diving down into a pit formerly only known by evil sorcerers in the darkest fairytales. During that time and the months that followed (for it is a long process), the following happened: I gained 10 pounds, Drama Queen had a series of frightening, although ultimately benign health scares that resulted in her wearing a heart monitor for 60 days straight, and I closed my Pilates studio due to this toilet we call an economy.

Remarkably I'm still married. And not in jail. And able to type. So, despite the withdrawal and the crazy life that just seems to be normal around here, we all survived. And. . .drum roll. . .the fatigue, the headaches, the depression, the weight. . . did not go away. Awesomeness! All of that and - NOTHING. I plotted against my doctors and their stupidity. However, life without the meds was in no way worse than life with the meds, so I decided against going back on them. I went to the gym - alot. I took sleeping pills to sleep at night and medicated myself with coffee to wake up in the morning. And I kept going.

Part 2