There are things that you know you can do. Even if you've never done them before. . .you just know you can do them - because of who you are, what you've done before, how your mind works. For example: I love math (this makes me a nerd) and I really like computers (this makes me a geek) and if anything ever forces me to do something that involves math and/or computers - even if it is new - I know I'll eventually figure it out and get it. My brain works that way.
There are other things that you know you cannot do. And you avoid them. I will never sing for an audience other than my children or my shower-head. I know that this is a good idea to protect the ears of the innocent. As a parent, my job is to occasionally show my children the darker side of the world so that they won't be shocked by real life as adults - and so they are not saved from this travesty. But for the most part - I don't sing. And I'm fine with that.
Then there are things that fall into the third tier. I CAN do them. But I'm not sure if I am good at them. They make me nervous. And stressed. And nauseated.
I'm talking here about: Speaking. In. Public.
Even if I know exactly what I am talking about. Even if I am confident in the subject matter (Math! Computers!). Ask me to talk in front of people and watch as my heart races, my breathing changes to that of a woman in labor and my eyes go wide with mind numbing fear. I can't say no. . .its not like you asked me to sing. . .but oh. . .how I wish I could run like Forrest Gump.
So I make my notes, create my power point, go over everything 700 times in my head. I lay awake at night anticipating that my presentation will go horribly wrong and will end in tears. And then - it goes fine. No disasters. No drama. I force myself to speak slowly(ish) and pause for questions. I think on my feet when the questions come and then. . .its over.
And yet. . .the next time I am asked to do this. . .my reaction will be exactly the same. I guess it is because - I have subscriptions :)
Friday, February 26, 2010
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3 comments:
I am actually comfortable speaking in public...I think it stems from always having to explain my actions, because I am (THANK GOD)...not normal. AND I'm married to Robert, which means, most times, more often than not...I have some explaining to do!!! Love the blog...keep it up!
Good job (geek). ;-) Speaking in public I've only done once or twice... ?... maybe 3 times? I enjoy it.
*Singing. Can't do it. At all. Eh-Eh.
Computers?!? Ya. There's a heart racing epidemic I can't deny. With instructions- I'm sure I could figure out how to blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.... but my brain doesn't even want to move in the direction of finding out what blah blah blah blah blah means.
(Glad you have another blog up)
Hey, have you seen there is a new movie coming out called "The Crazies?" I thought it was about you, but it is about mentally deranged people in a small town...wait don't you live in a small town?
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