Insomnia

I really used to not be able to sleep.  I'd be exhausted, falling over, snoozing while standing up and then go to bed and stare at the ceiling for hours. HOURS. My mind would relive every moment of the day, every item of my to-do list pecking at my brain, telling me that I would never get it all done if I didn't get UP out of that BED this VERY instant and get to work.

Some nights I let the to-do list win, I'd get back out of bed and begin mopping or sweeping or whatevering. Some nights I'd stay in bed, defiant. I was going to sleep. . .I WAS going to sleep. . .I was GOING TO SLEEP!

Eventually, I would of course fall asleep - but often after only several hours of tossing and turning, frequently only drifting off after taking some medication to help me.  The next day would find me exhausted, foggy and practically a hazard behind the wheel. 

Thousands of dollars in doctors visits and sleep studies later, the culprit found and treated, and I discover that a good night's sleep is truly a marvelous thing to have in your life. 

I'm a much more even-keeled person (despite the crazy stories I share here. . .you are all lucky you didn't have to deal with me back then. Dear F. . .I love you for putting up with me). I am more productive, more fun, more relaxed.  I mean relatively speaking - but let's not get crazy and stop alphabetizing the grocery list or anything.

However, tonight I am awake again.  My crazy mind is not keeping me awake tonight, but instead, a curly headed moppet in my bed - coughing in her sleep, turning fitfully, unhappy and pitiful.  Leaving me longing for the days when my insomnia let my Mischief sleep.